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Martin: You perverted library science to get the library system to buy more ebooks.
Grant: No, I didn’t.

Martin: Your survey wouldn’t stand up to peer review.
Grant: The library system was looking for an excuse to up the ebook budget.

Martin: I’d never use biased information to influence purchasing decisions.
Grant: You manufacture statistics so that we don’t weed the reference books.

Martin: I accurately note their use during reference survey week.
Grant: But you fail to note that you’re almost always the one using them.
Martin: There’s no place to note that on the form.