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Mike: Did your pet make a mess in the book? Shred its pages? Fall in love with the author’s photo?
Patron: Of course not.

Mike: Sorry, it’s been a strange week.
Patron: I just want to return the damn thing.
Parrot: Pretty please.

Mike: You can just put it in the book drop.
Patron: I don’t trust it. The library always screws me over.
Parrot: I appreciate your time and effort!

Mike: Is that a service animal?
Patron: He’s my emotion translator! Is that okay with you, nimrod?
Parrot: Thank you! Have a nice day!